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| The
local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they
offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the
juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze
one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time
(weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny
little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and
said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet" After the laughter
had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then
he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's
laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon
and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the
$1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack,
a weight-lifter, or what?" The man replied "I work for the IRS."
Q:
How do you change a blonde's mind? A: Blow in her ear. Q: How do you measure a
blonde's intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! Q: How does
a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper |
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games for Nokia, Siemens, Motorola ... Good java games for mobiles
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knight rider u-boot submarine u boot hip super bliong Peter Kay catchphrase The A Team |
A
man walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The Bartender says, "Why
do have a steering wheel in your pants?" The man replies " I don't know
but its driving me nuts". |
Good Java Games for Mobiles
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| Good Java Games for Mobiles |
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Quest for Alliance 2 - The Dark World
In the previous episode, the Gargoyles threatened to invade the known world and enslave it. Despite all their efforts, the Humans could not prevent this tragedy primarily because the Gargoyles were supported by the invincible Golems. Today all the Humans live under the control of the Gargoyles without any hope of escape. But one fine day, the hero of our story benefits from an unexpected event and escapes from his mine to try to reverse the balance of the world....
Now you can finally experience the fabulous sequel to the Quest for Alliance saga, the largest mobile RPG available. New levels of exploration, and gameplay combat that is more dynamic and addictive: you will find everything that made the first episode a success and improvements that make Quest for Alliance 2 a mobile game that cannot be ignored. You will enjoy same experience that is offered on a PC or console game because the interface of this new saga is directly inspired by the best games of this genre.
With graphics even better than the original, you will be completely immersed in a world rich in color and detail. The music throughout the game is on a level equal to that of the best RPG's. The gameplay combat is extremely well-thought out and designed to be endlessly engaging.
Features: - Many playable characters: recruit companions who will accompany you in your adventure. - More than ten hours of play. - A heart-stopping script. - Dynamic gameplay combat: use your tactical sense and your reflexes. - Smooth graphics and animation. - 7 different graphic environments. - Blockbuster music for a complete adventure effect. - 35 opponents with unique characteristics, each offering his own form of challenge. - Many bosses, including the Gargoyle king, will bar your way. - Hundreds of different weapons, armor, and equipment. - Save anywhere during the game.
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Quest For Alliance
As the player walks around in his village, Anldruid, he doesn't know that terrible events are going to change his life forever. Best swordsman of the village, he has never known war, neither has his village. The plains of Gotha has been pieceful as long as anyone can remember and no one knows that the gargoyle people has raised an army, walking towards Anldruid! No one except the wise old man, who knows that if you fails bringing back help, it will be the end of Anldruid.
Like the best PC or console RPG, Quest for Alliance will bring you a world filled with monsters, stories, heroes and a great adventure for you to discover.
Caracteristics: - 35 levels in 5 different graphic styles - 33 different enemies - 255 different Arms and 255 different Armors - Many hours of gameplay - A new fighting system based on the characteristics of the hero and the reflexes of the player. - A complex nonlinear scenario - Several playable heroes - The terrible Dacrid and other Bosses - Save the game any time
Note: 8/10on www.midlet-review.com "Quest for Alliance [...] is one of the better RPGs available in the current mobile phone market."
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Baldurs Gate
The award-winning RPG series comes to your mobile phone! Baldur’s Gate set the standard on the PC, capturing multiple “Game of the Year” and “RPG of the Year” awards. One of the most beloved Dungeons&Dragons interactive adventures ever, Baldur’s Gate set the standard for character development and an engaging storyline. With Baldur’s Gate on your mobile, that same great game play and incredible depth can go with you wherever you are.
Explore the treacherous dungeons of the Forgotten Realms where treasures are plenty, magic&monsters abound and fantastic adventure awaits.
Features: • Discover a brand new adventure on mobile with a storyline written specifically for the platform • Explore the Forgotten Realms and discover the lands of Faerûn, including the jewel of the Western Heartlands – the city of Baldur’s Gate. • 7 levels, each with 2 unique zones – over 15 quests and sub-quests • Create a character from 4 races and 5 classes • Distribute “Ability Points” among 6 characteristics, including Dexterity, Strength and Charisma • Gain experience points to distribute among your characteristics along the way • Isometric view, including two options for directional controls • Battle enemies with melee weapons, spells and feats • Encounter over 15 different monster types, including boss characters at the end of each level • Automated helpwhich guides you through the adventure • Manually scroll the current map using a single hot-button • Interact with non-player characters (NPCs), find items and solve puzzles • Both friendly and unfriendly NPCs keep you on your toes • Find and keep items such as gold, potions, armor, weapons and more • Maintain your inventory as you make your way through the adventure • Buy and sell items that you collect• Discover a unique adventure with each different combination of character race and class
Baldur’s Gate ™ © 2004 Atari Interactive, Inc. All rights reserved.
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Ninjack
Ninjack is a game mixing action and platforms with a dose of exploration.You are Ninjack, a charismatic ninja, whose wife was kidnapped. With his mastery of martial arts and his sharp shurikens, He has to put on his guard against dangers which will stand on his way. Enemies have differents behaviors but everyone is agressive!You have to find all the keys in order to reach the ultimate level, and deliver your sweetheart.
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Pirates
The Caribbean – a perfect place for those who hunger gold, fame and adventure. Life in the recesses of the sea port inMaracaibo is not comfortable or safe, especially when you are a little boy. All your life you’ve been listening to the fantastic stories of old sailors and sea wolves, and more and more you wished to lead a life full of dangerous adventures, gold and storms on the sea. One faithful night a small ship docket at the port – not too big, with a few holes, full of grinning and laughing sailors. It looked like your ticket out of here. And so it happened! Tucked away and hidden among boxes full of a strange smelling powder you sailed out to sea…
Game Features: - a game map closely based on the Caribbean region - 37 different cities of 5 sizes including Pirates’ havens - 4 countries for fight for and against - 14 different ships to choose from: merchant ships, and special war and pirate ships - Sea battles: boarding , looting and capturing enemy ships - Ability to be new ships and upgrade existing vessels: armor, special anti-sail and anti-crew cannon balls - 7 different goods to trade, trade boom periods, cities with extra prices for each good - Tavern – where you can recruit new crew members, take on new missions as well as listen to the latest gossip - 4 types of missions with 3 difficulty levels - 10 different pirate ranks to move through
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The Mummy
Guide Evelyn and Rick through the ancient crypts and tombs of Hamunaptra to prevent this disaster!
The year is 1932, Egyptologist Evelyn ‘Evy’ Carnahan discovers a map to the lost city of Hamunaptra, she hires rogue Rick O’Connell to search for the mythical Book of the Dead. Once there ,Evelyn accidentally unlocks the tomb of Imhotep, a high priest who was buried alive over 3000 years ago. Once revived, the ancient mummy is determined on regaining his former strength, which of course means human sacrifice and much mayhem!
Take on the role of “Richard ‘Rick’ O’Connell “ or Evelyn ‘Evy’ Carnahan in this thrilling adventure game Unravel puzzles and mysteries as you proceed to higher levels Toggle anytime between the Rick and Eve during any point in the game Fluid graphics with stunning backdrops Music that totally immerses you in the game Well defined help and game controls, that is easy to understand and use
The MUMMY is a Trademark and Copyright of Universal Studios. Licensed by Universal Studios Licensing L.L.L.P. All Rights Reserved.
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Moomin Adventures
A great and amusing game for people of all ages! Help the Moomin family in their quest to find Moominpappa by solving many different puzzles in this adventure-style game. While featuring easy-to-use cursor movement, the game forces you to think and will provide you with many many hours of fun game play.
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Ancient Ruins 1
Evil has awakened! Fear and terror reigns in the six mighty kingdoms! Yet there is a secret order holding the knowledge and the power to counter the evil hordes of hell. An ancient prophecy is speaking of old artefacts that could save the world. As a paladin of the secret order your quest is to make your way down into the depths of king Morkus’ crypt, find his magic shield and save an important part of the secret of the ancient prophecy. You will gain fame and glory by gathering experience points, meet more and more challenging opponents and get yourself a name among the ranks of the secret order.
Using a special code which you will receive on completing the game you can transfer your previously gathered experience points to another part of the Ancient Ruins series. Your continued advancement will make you a living legend amongst the six kingdoms.
Be prepared! The world of Ancient Ruins is laying all the hope on… you!
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Shirards Forge
Your mission sounds simple: Stop the mad wizard before he blows up Mount Blaze! However, your path to success is not easy as the caves in the mighty volcano are filled with all kinds of dangers. You must find the way to your goal, fight off a wide range of nasty monsters, solve the puzzles, and ultimately face off with Shirard himself! Are you ready for the challenge?
Shirard’s Forge is an exciting dungeon crawl adventure in the Era of Eidolon series. You can play with an existing hero from one of the other games or create a new one. The game holds several hours of thrilling gameplay and includes both a main plot as well as side quests. If you are persistent you may even stumble into one of the many secret caves that are scattered throughout the adventure.
Features - Original online gameplay - Huge and colourful maps - Loads of monsters to fight! - Extra large end of level bosses - Secret locations and unique items - Challenging main plot - 3 optional side quests - 10+ hours of thrilling gameplay - Colourful graphics and animations - Tournaments and live high scores
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Sterling Lake
Strange Fishmen are raiding the ships that sail the Sterling Lake. It is your mission to stop the raids before a war erupts. However, your path to success is not easy as danger lurks everywhere. You must discover who is behind the raids, fight off a wide range of nasty monsters, solve the puzzles, and ultimately face the true culprit! Are you the Hero for the job?
Sterling Lake is an exciting RPG adventure in the Era of Eidolon series. You can play with an existing hero from one of the other games or create a new one. The game holds several hours of thrilling gameplay and includes both a main plot as well as side quests. If you are persistent you may even stumble into one of the many secret caves that are scattered throughout the adventure.
Features - Original online gameplay - Huge and colourful maps - Loads of monsters to fight! - Extra large end of level bosses - Secret locations and unique items - Challenging main plot - 3 optional side quests - 10+ hours of thrilling gameplay - Colourful graphics and animations - Tournaments and live high scores
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Star Trek - The Cold Enemy
The Enterprise is Under Attack! While on mission to investigate mysterious Planet Psi 20, Captain Kirk´s Starship Enterprise is captured by the Klingons, leaving him trapped alone on the planets surface. Set in the Original Series era, take on the role of the ship´s engineer, Scotty, and race through 6 levels of fast paced, side scrolling action! In a race against time he must solve the mystery of Psi 20 and find a way to save his trapped comrades! To rescue the remainder of the crew and ultimately regain control of the Enterprise , you´ll engage in a dangerous journey of frantic fighter sequences. Traveling from the Enterprise , to exotic planet surfaces and through foreboding underground caverns you´ll encounter enemies both familiar and new! Blast evil robotic life forms with your phaser, and use your fighting skills toescape deadly enemy traps. You must keep one step ahead of the dangers around you to recapture the Starship Enterprise and exact your revenge on the Klingnon warriors!
TM and (c) 2004 Paramount Pictures. All Rights Reserved
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CRAZY
RINGTONES - FUNNY RINGTONES FOR YOU !!! CHEAP !!!
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One
sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when
one turns to the other and says "You see that man over there? He looks just
like me! I think I'm gonna go over there and talk to him." So, he goes over
to the man and taps him on the shoulder. "Excuse me sir," he starts,
"but I noticed you look just like me!" The second man turns around and
says "Yeah, I noticed the same thing, where you from?", "I'm from
Dublin", second man stunned says, "Me too! What street do you live on?",
"McCarthy street", second man replies, "Me too! What number is
it?", the first man announces, "162", second man shocked says,
"Me too! What are your parents names?", first man replies, "Connor
and Shannon", second man awestruck says, "Mine too! This is unbelievable!"
So, they buy some more Guinness and they're talking some more when the bartenders
change shifts. The new bartender comes in and goes up to the other bartender and
asks "What's new today?" "Oh, the Murphy twins are drunk again."
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